Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
