he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
