what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
