A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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