i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
