i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
