omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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