You're a womanizer and a bitch.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
