everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
