Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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