Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
