he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
