You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
zippers are such a cool invention
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
