so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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