no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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