Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
