Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
