i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
