I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
