Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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