you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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