She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
