You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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