I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
