yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
this boner is exhausting
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
