Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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