Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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