THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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