My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
