i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
it hurts more in the daytime
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
