the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
