She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
