She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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