Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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