I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
