omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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