I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
