just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
