Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
