just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
