I will die if light touches me.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
