Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
