oh god the rape fog is back!
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
