i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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