What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
