did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
