yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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