I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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