just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
