I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
